A funny thing happened to me today. I, finally, after days of agonizing, finally got a chocolate chip cookie. And when I say days, I literally mean, I’ve been thinking about this for days- weeks maybe. I wanted a cookie so bad that I paid basically $100 for a cookie, okay, it was more like $5, but $5 for a cookie is ridiculous.
I was sitting in the cafe at school, I just finished my salad, and I was eating my cookie, sipping my water and twitter stalking when two females walked by me. Now, I’m nosy, there is literally no way around that. I am that neighbor that eavesdrops through the door. I know my hearing skills with this kind of stuff is good- but these girls didn’t even try to be discrete in what they said. I wasn’t even needing to pretend to not be listening when I was.
These girls (lets call them girl 1 and 2) were deep in a conversation about how girl 1 was trying to, and needed to lose weight- who was, without judging, overweight- when she said:
“Those cookies look good”
bitch girl 2 said (while looking at me):
“But then you’d be fat like her”.
Now, obviously, this girl had some personal issues to overcome. I understand that. We all have issues that we take out on other people, it’s how we work, but- come on!
So, immediately, I sent out a tweet- that’s what every one would do, right?
I got a handful of “punch her in the face”, “what did you say to her?!” responses, but the fact is, I didn’t say anything, I didn’t want to say anything, and I just sat there and finished my cookie.
Apparently, I needed time for it to settle, I needed time to process and brew up the right response.
And here it is:
Dear Girl 2 (you know who you are, you called me fat today),
I’m not sure why you decided I was a good example of Obese America, maybe I was the only one you could see currently enjoying a baked concoction of flour, sugar, and chocolate- so you decided to use me as an example for your friend. Sadly, I’m okay with this. I had nothing angry to say to you, and no angry thoughts running through my head, I really just didn’t care.
See, what you don’t know- because you don’t know me- is that I used to be extremely overweight. Now I’m in my healthy weight range. In fact, today I weighed in at 128.0, but that’s not the point. The point is that I used to be overweight, and I’ve heard all of these comments before. I’ve been called fat to my face. I had a guy tell me he would love me more if I lost weight. I’ve had people ask if I was pregnant and little kids ask their parent’s about “the fat person” in the grocery store. All of these, including the one you said to me today, are what fuel me. You didn’t make me upset, you didn’t make me cry, or eat another cookie (I was probably going to regardless)- you fueled my run for tomorrow. You put the bounce back in my weight loss step. People like you have helped me lose 60 lbs. And you, my dear friend; girl 2, have now pushed me to lose the last 10.
But even though I have one reaction, you could have caused a completely different one in someone else. Watch your mouth. Someone who is in the same position I used to be in could take that horribly, comments like that used to wreck me, and you have no right to give yourself that power. You, who I’m sure have some unhealthy habits of your own (was that aCoronasweatshirt you were wearing), have no right to judge- to point fingers- and to mentally scar other people.
So please, shut the fuck up.
And just so you know, that cookie was the best thing I had eaten all day.
Your half marathoner- cookie eating- friend
And if you all don’t mind, I’d like to address girl number 1 too:
Dear girl number 1,
I saw that you really were struggling with your weight and with the thoughts in your own mind. Do yourself a favor, right now, get a new friend.
Someone who used to be in your shoes.
It’s not amazing to me that people like this still exist, it’s how we’re built as a culture, but it still sucks. You would think that with all the anti-bullying stuff out there right now, people would bemore aware of what they’re saying. But they aren’t, and that’s sad. I really hope this girl doesn’t do damage to anyone with her words.
What would you have done? How would you have reacted?