5mi- fast- awesome.
Yesterday was a really funny day for me. I got up (normal), drank coffee (normal), ran and went to class (both normal), then I drove to Buffalo and stopped at the Galleria Mall. Because who can resist the best mall ever? Not me.
Usually around this time of year I have my bi-annual shopping spree. I save all my money for 6 months, and buy no clothes, just so twice a year I can do it all at once. This is for two reasons; 1) I hate malls 2) It’s fun to spend a lot of money without looking at the price tags. This was going to be a big one, I have no clothes that fit, nothing that looks good, but, it’s a lot harder than it used to be. I used to barely look at clothes, grab the size I knew fit, and move on to the next item. I essentially wouldn’t even know what I had until I got home. This time I had to try things on, and nothing looked good. It was very frustrating and overwhelming.
I lost weight to (partially) look good in clothes, not to look worse than I did before.
When I started losing weight I had this grand vision of what I would look like at the end. I even had planned how I would get my hair done- because skinny girls can pull off certain hair cuts. I saw myself in skinny jeans, cropped shirts, high heels. I envisioned the most beautiful dresses that only looked good on girls around a size 0 or 2. I thought about the new tattoo I wanted, because you can’t lose a lot of weight after you get a tattoo, it’ll look stupid, so I was waiting until all the weight was off. It was going to be like the grand finale.
But here I am, 55.6 lbs lighter, and I’m in worse shape fashion wise than I was. I’m not what I thought I would look like, and I don’t fit into all the trendy clothes I thought I would look fab in. And if you can believe it, I also didn’t grow 9 inches overnight.
I drove home, belted out some legally blonde, and sat on my couch for a little bit. I was sad, mad, confused, frustrated- you name it and I probably felt it.
Here’s what I realized; I don’t get to control what I look like. Sure, I can control makeup, hair, tattoos- but I can’t do much about my hip size, or leg length. I could control the sizes of some of me, but if I can’t part with $1448 for a needed computer, I don’t think I’ll easily swallow throwing money at someone to cut me up and put me back together.
I guess what I’m trying to say is:
So don’t mind me while I got back to the drawing board and try to figure out how to do this whole transformation thing.
How else was yesterday weird?
- We opened chicken we bought the day before and it was bad so we ate corn for dinner.
- I had my first Honey Boo-Boo experience.
- We set up a time with a relator to look at a house.
Yep. That’s all I’ve got.
Who do you want to look like, but never will?
Was your Wednesday a wacky one like mine?
How do you go about fashion?