I’ve been feeling a little, uh, crazy lately. I can say crazy, you can’t. T o you;  I may have been acting a little off, been  a little emotional, or behind my back you may have called me a raging bitch. But crazy is a term that only I can say.

It’s most likely a combination of the move, long hours at work, and assorted other things, but for the last few days some chemicals in my brain definitely have not been lining up and doing what they are supposed to be doing.

How do I know?
1) I’ve cried twice a day, every day, for the last 4 days.
2) I’m looking for arguments- looking for a reason to rip someones head off.
3) I’m having a hard time controlling the words coming out of my mouth.
4) I woke up from a dream and thought it was still happening.
5) I’m having a hard time caring. About anything.

Of course, this is all stuff I’m used to and once I figure out what’s going on, I can control it. I’ve done this crazy thing for a long time. I’ve known that all the screws weren’t quite as tight as they needed to be since I was little. I started medication when I was 18. I went off and back on my medication every year following, just, ya know; to make sure I was still crazy. I know how this thing works.

Now before people start saying “Are you on your medicine?”, don’t worry, I already played that game once this year, I’m not due for another round of it until 2014. Sometimes; all the medicine in the world can not make a person “balanced”. There are environmental factors that play with us too much. There are things outside of our control that make living just a little more difficult. Medicine is a nice push in the right direction, but when shit goes down- shit goes down.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not feeling so crazy that I’m going to run around naked, or do anything stupid, I just know the signs when my mood may be swinging a little too far south, too often.

I’m going to try something new. Diet and exercise have a lot to do with our mood. When I started running I noticed that my mood brightened and yada yada yada. When I started losing weight I became happier and all that stuff. We all know these things happen, right? I don’t have to go into detail, do I? I’ve been eating a lot of crap lately. A lot of breads, and chocolate, and stuff that my body doesn’t really need. So I’m going to try a week without them. A little bit of a detox I guess.

Here’s this weeks plan:
1) Lay off the bread
2) Stay out of the candy aisle.
3) Drink enough water to qualify as a fish

Exercise:
1) Keep doing it.
2) Even when it’s hard.

Being crazy is just another part of life. Just like I have to manage things at work, or I have things at home I have to take care of, my mental health is the same way. I know I am not the only one out there, medicated or not, that understands the urgency and importance of staying relatively sane. And I also know I’m not the only one who finds themselves wanting to hide under the covers crying all day when things get hard. Unfortunately, life is hard, and things will always happen to make it harder than it necessarily needs to be.

A lot of us, are still afraid to say “Hey, I’m crazy, don’t mind me for a minute while I get my shit together”. But I wouldn’t be, that’s called standing up for yourself, everyone needs a break here and there to figure stuff out.  So I’m letting you know; yeah, I’m feeling a little crazy, but I have a plan, and it’ll be fine.

Do you ever battle the blues with healthy living?

Do you know anyone with a mental illness? 

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