Small changes, Big Impact

small changes

I was thinking about everything in my life that has changed in the past two years. There’s been big things; graduating college, switching jobs, settling down in life.

Loosing weight was hard, at times I wanted to give up, but thinking back; it was not the hardest thing I have done in life. In fact, the changes were easy, getting past the big picture was hard. The big picture of “I need to loose x amount of weight” “I need to look like Gisele Bundchen” “I can’t eat that ever again”

The big picture gets in the way. You become clouded and then suddenly you’re sitting on the couch eating an entire cake. This is how I’ve been feeling lately. My brain has been taken over by the fact that I want to lose 20 more lbs. That is all I’ve been focused on. And now that loosing weight is harder, I’ve become frustrated and have been sabotaging myself. So let’s break it down. I made very small- easy- changes the first time around. I just need to reestablish those:

1. Less is more. No need to over fill the tank.
2. Real is better than fake
3. “I can have this if I don’t have that” Yes, I can eat that ice cream, if I don’t eat the king size candy bar for lunch.

I never cut anything out- except the three extra portions I was eating with every meal. I never felt like I was hungry- because I always ate when I was, except instead of chocolate I would eat some carrots. Instead of pizza and wings until I couldn’t move- 1 piece of pizza and two wings- more than enough to fill someone up. Instead of drinking my calories on Saturday night and then eating greasy food to fill a craving, I choose which sounds better, beer or french fries. Fruits and veggies with every meal. Water instead of pop. Iced caramel latte once a week as opposed to every day.

Small changes. Changes that never once negatively effected me. Never made me feel sad or hungry or like I needed to give up. The only thing that ever effected me from reaching my goal was my mind.

The small change I need to make right now is one of the hardest things to do; frame of mind.
1. Instead of focusing on 20 lbs- I’ll work my hardest for 5. That seems way easier.
2. I will never look like Gisele. But I, right now, look like the best version of myself.

Rewards:
I used to have a reward system. Every time I reached a small goal I would someone celebrate. Never with food, but with little fun things. Celebrating is the perfect word for it. Celebrating myself, celebrating health and life, and being a bad ass. My reward for getting to 125 will be a fun manicure. God, I hope that happens tomorrow.

Less is more
Keep it simple
Just keep going

Question: Do you look at the big goal or break it up into smaller ones?

Don’t forget! You still have time to enter this awesome giveaway!

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Birthdays and Pictures

Today’s Workout:
4 mile HIIT

Does anyone enjoy speed work? Like, really? Does anyone enjoy it? Yes, it’s necessary sometimes, but fun? no. not at all.

But that’s what I did today. Ouch.

So what’s new in life? I’m blocked out from taking any vacation until after Jun16th- so obviously I won’t take any for months after. But, I’m sure you know; just the idea of not being able to is mentally exhausting. I’m also working 6 days a week until then, so I’m a little sleepy. But that’s okay, only 24 days left…. not that I’m counting.

The new roomies are good. The female in the couple (mom) made some delicious lemonade yesterday; fresh lemons, and cucumber slices in water. No sugar. Oh.My.God. You should try it. I tried to take a picture, but it was gone before I had the chance to get over the haze of deliciousness and grab my phone. I’m sure she took it off of Pinterest, so go ahead of Google it.

This is a pretty exciting (scary) time within my circle of friends. We are all turning (turned) 26 this year; therefore we’re all experiencing the joys of getting our own health insurance- not to mention going through the overwhelming feeling of becoming old. So we went out to dinner the other night to celebrate, instead of mourn, Katie turning the big 2-6.photo(447)

I love any drink that comes with cherries.

Today is another birthday of someone else who is very special to me.

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Patrick came into my life when he was 2 years old- almost 3. I love him more than I ever thought a child could be loved. Today he’s a happy and toothless 7 year old.

Note to all: My birthday is 2.5 weeks away. I have a Pinterest board called: Things You Can Buy Me.

Here are some other pictures off my phone from this week:

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One of the fanciest Labatt’s I’ve ever seen.

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I sent Pat this picture to ask if I had enough gas to get home from work. I did.

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Grandma loving her 95 scratch off tickets for turning 95 years old.

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The dog being, the dog.

The Bestow Box Giveaway is still happening! Make sure you enter to win a box of wonderfulness!

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Any good pictures on your phone from this past week?
Don’t you wish you could live the life of a dog?

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Giveaway!

Today’s workout:
6.29 mile run- 67 minutes
You know that feeling when you go out for your first run of the week? You’ve had time to recover from your long run over the weekend… your legs are feelings good… and suddenly you are going super fast? I had that happen today, except when I got home I realized I wasn’t going super fast; I wasn’t going super slow, but I shouldn’t have been huffing and puffing like I was.

I’m running the Buffalo half on Sunday, so this week is all about keeping it easy, and gently reminding my legs that they do know how to run.  I’m pretty excited for this race, it’ll be my third half marathon, and it was my first- when I almost died- no really, this happened shortly after.  Amazing that this time last year I was sitting on the beach tapering for the first time- and boy was I nervous. This time I’m not so nervous, but I am focused on finishing in enough time to have a beer (or two) before I go to work.
 
Giveaway!!!

About a week before I moved ; I received this box in the mail.

 

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First of all, who doesn’t love receiving a package? Secondly, who does LOVE receiving a package of FOOD in the mail?!

 

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And healthy food at that!

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Bestowed  pairs their subscribers with delicious healthy food once a month. Just imagine…. once a month a box of new foods is delivered to you…beats wandering through the health food store aimlessly!

 

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They also enclosed an awesome explanation of everything I was eating- which is good because I am  overly cautious and tend not to eat anything when I don’t really know what it is. Or when it smells gross.

 

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Here’s an example of something I normally would not eat. Nothing about this looks appealing to me. Not the package- not the actual food. I hate olives. I’m not a big fan of anything overly spicy. But just trust me, try them. Oh. My. God.

Obviously, when you’re having a stranger send you a box of food they think you’ll like, they may miss. And they did, but now I know when I’m scrambling around the grocery store to not waste my hard earned money on them.

Bestowed is kindly giving all of my readers a $5 off discount to anyone who subscribes to their monthly program.
Use this:
5OFFBSTOWED01

Thanks to Bestowed, I am also doing a one month subscription giveaway! This is open from now until May 28th at Midnight!

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Have you ever had a monthly subscription like this?
What’s your favorite thing you receive in the mail?

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Disclaimer: Bestowed did give me this box in order to do a review and a giveaway. However, these opinions are strictly my own, and have not been influenced by anyone or anything other than my taste buds.

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What Would You Do With…..

Yesterday:
8 miles- 84 minutes.

475 million dollars- I’m watching the news right now. I don’t usually pay too much attention to the lottery, I mean, I’m not gonna win so why throw money away? But when I hear a number like 475 million, I can’t help but let my mind wander to everything I could accomplish.

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1. Goodbye student loans!
2. Hello house! (that I’ll pay for in cash)
3. Don’t worry mom and dad (and all my siblings) your debts will be gone- and here’s some extra for your worries
4. I’ll keep my job, but I will demote myself; be in charge of nothing, work 20 hours a week- ahhhh I can feel the stress melting away
5. Throw a party to remember

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:Sigh: It’s nice to dream…

I’m officially signed up to run the Buffalo Half Marathon. You know that feeling when something is officially and you start doubting everythingin your life? I know the mileage I can do comfortably, I know the pace I can run without dying, but suddenly I’m doubting my abilities- pre-race jitters. I always get these, the butterflies in my stomach- you’d think that this was a life or death kind of thing.

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Plan: Have fun.

What would you do if you won the lottery?
Do you get cold feet before a big run?

Let’s be friends! You can follow me…
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Feeling a Little Crazy

I’ve been feeling a little, uh, crazy lately. I can say crazy, you can’t. T o you;  I may have been acting a little off, been  a little emotional, or behind my back you may have called me a raging bitch. But crazy is a term that only I can say.

It’s most likely a combination of the move, long hours at work, and assorted other things, but for the last few days some chemicals in my brain definitely have not been lining up and doing what they are supposed to be doing.

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How do I know?
1) I’ve cried twice a day, every day, for the last 4 days.
2) I’m looking for arguments- looking for a reason to rip someones head off.
3) I’m having a hard time controlling the words coming out of my mouth.
4) I woke up from a dream and thought it was still happening.
5) I’m having a hard time caring. About anything.

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Of course, this is all stuff I’m used to and once I figure out what’s going on, I can control it. I’ve done this crazy thing for a long time. I’ve known that all the screws weren’t quite as tight as they needed to be since I was little. I started medication when I was 18. I went off and back on my medication every year following, just, ya know; to make sure I was still crazy. I know how this thing works.

Now before people start saying “Are you on your medicine?”, don’t worry, I already played that game once this year, I’m not due for another round of it until 2014. Sometimes; all the medicine in the world can not make a person “balanced”. There are environmental factors that play with us too much. There are things outside of our control that make living just a little more difficult. Medicine is a nice push in the right direction, but when shit goes down- shit goes down.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not feeling so crazy that I’m going to run around naked, or do anything stupid, I just know the signs when my mood may be swinging a little too far south, too often.

I’m going to try something new. Diet and exercise have a lot to do with our mood. When I started running I noticed that my mood brightened and yada yada yada. When I started losing weight I became happier and all that stuff. We all know these things happen, right? I don’t have to go into detail, do I? I’ve been eating a lot of crap lately. A lot of breads, and chocolate, and stuff that my body doesn’t really need. So I’m going to try a week without them. A little bit of a detox I guess.

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Here’s this weeks plan:
1) Lay off the bread
2) Stay out of the candy aisle.
3) Drink enough water to qualify as a fish

Exercise:
1) Keep doing it.
2) Even when it’s hard.

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Being crazy is just another part of life. Just like I have to manage things at work, or I have things at home I have to take care of, my mental health is the same way. I know I am not the only one out there, medicated or not, that understands the urgency and importance of staying relatively sane. And I also know I’m not the only one who finds themselves wanting to hide under the covers crying all day when things get hard. Unfortunately, life is hard, and things will always happen to make it harder than it necessarily needs to be.

A lot of us, are still afraid to say “Hey, I’m crazy, don’t mind me for a minute while I get my shit together”. But I wouldn’t be, that’s called standing up for yourself, everyone needs a break here and there to figure stuff out.  So I’m letting you know; yeah, I’m feeling a little crazy, but I have a plan, and it’ll be fine.

Do you ever battle the blues with healthy living?

Do you know anyone with a mental illness? 

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What’s Beautiful?

What’s beautiful?

I’m currently participating in the Under Armour:What’s Beautiful? campaign. I have a video posted on my profile, but this is the kind of thing that I’m better at expressing in writing. Sometimes words just don’t come out of my mouth the way they are supposed to.

When I started loosing weight, it was very simply to be “skinny”. I didn’t want to be fat anymore. I didn’t want to look in the mirror and see almost 200lbs- I wanted to see something much smaller. I wanted to look in the mirror and barely see myself there.  I only wanted to loose weight for very vain reasons circled by social norms.

As I started loosing weight some strange things happened. Sure, I was loosing weight; but my body was changing in a way that I didn’t expect. I thought the weight would just fall off and I would just be a skinnier version of myself. I never thought that I would develop muscle in my legs, that I would all the sudden have hip bones, or that my frame of mind would start changing. Slowly, I no longer wanted to be skinny I wanted to be strong.

I no longer envied super models, but instead, I was looking at athletes in admiration. I felt like being skinny was not going to be enough for me- but strong, now that came with a lot more.  I wanted the confidence, and the mental capacity to say “I can do anything”, I wanted to have a body that caused people to think; she knows what she’s doing. Does that make sense?

To me; being beautiful is being the happiest, healthiest version of myself.

What does BEAUTIFUL mean to you?

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Grandma Turns 95

What a beautiful Tuesday! I just got back from a 10 mile run. I ran it in 1:46:30; so I’m pretty proud. I desperately needed some me time today. Well, maybe I shouldn’t call it me time, because I will be alone all day, but I needed time to think without feeling pressured to get something done. I’m on a one day off a week schedule at work ; so today is crucial to relax a little bit.  I knew that I needed to clean, organize, grocery shop, pay bills, ect- this morning was my only opportunity.  I got up early and went out- it was fantastic.

 

Today my Grandma turns 95. Holy cow. 95 years old. She still lives on her own. She still cooks her own food. Cleans her own house. She walks to the grocery store. Counts money at church. Socializes at the Community Center. 95.

My dad has always said that we will all live to be 100years old. I have no doubt that my Grandma will go far past that. Her body is healthy and her brain is healthy. She takes care of herself. She has never stopped caring about living- that’s just amazing to me. I think so many people stop caring- hell, I stopped caring and it took a lot for me to start again- but she has never stopped.

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I’m really proud because I have been eating well, even though it’s only been one day since I’ve been back on the wagon; the first day is the hardest. I hate tracking my food. It takes time, effort, and diligence. I don’t know if any one enjoys it at all, but it’s so important. If I track as I go I can see what I’ve previously eating before I decide to nibble on some chocolate. As opposed to regretting it after the fact.

Do you track your food?

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Monday; The Good and The Bad.

Alright! It’s Monday! Time to get back on the wagon!

I didn’t realize how badly I ate last week until I stepped on the scale this morning. Oops. What got me what that I just wasn’t thinking about it while I was eating. We were moving, we were stressed, we were eating on the run, ect, ect, ect. I have a whole truck load of excuses; I came up with all of them myself!

But what it breaks down to is; I stopped thinking about what I was doing and I was eating whatever was available to fill the tank. Eating is not about filling the tank. It’s so much more than that. Sure, I have only once put premium gas in my car (on accident), but my body deserves premium. I was eating a few steps below regular. Once I rewound the tape I realized that, basically, I ate like pure shit last week.

My bad.

So, it’s a new week- blah, blah. blah. You have probably read this on every blog, Facebook status, twitter account and also heard it from your mother, coworker, and cousins sister. Yes; IT’S ANOTHER WEEK.  So let’s just learn, and move on. Of course if you haven’t taken the time to weep a little first; you may do so now. Then move on.

Moving on…. Here’s the plan:

Tuesday: Run 13 miles
Wedesnday: Rest
Thursday: Run 5 miles
Friday: Run 3 miles
Saturday: Run 8 miles

I was supposed to run 13 miles on Saturday, but it just wasn’t in the cards for me. I ran a really good 6.5- but not 13. So tomorrow the plan is to do 13. not necessarily for speed, but just for the miles. My next half marathon is 19 days away, the time is dwindling.

Speaking of weeping; I do this a lot. It doesn’t take a lot for my eyes to turn into sprinklers. I can be scared, happy, angry, frustrated, and occasionally sad. It’s just something I do. This morning I had a good cry. The move overwhelmed me, and work is just insane right now. Plus, to top it all off; I forgot to charge my phone last night (don’t lie, you can relate to this feeling), so I made myself cry. In the shower, obviously, because where is better to feel sorry for yourself? And I’ll tell ya, I felt way better after.

I remember when I was going through quite the spout of depression I was told to cry once a day in the shower to get all the bad feelings out. It definitely works for me- and I was able to get through another day without crying in public or killing anyone. Bonuses all around.

I don’t really know if this is healthy or not; so I wouldn’t follow my lead.

Happy Monday, friends. I hope you’re getting things back on track, or are ready for another week of living the way you are meant to live.

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Welcome to May!

Welp, we made it. We are all moved out, all moved in, and living out of boxes and laundry baskets. But at least the hard part is over. You will all be proud when I tell you that I made it through yesterday with only one emotional breakdown; it was at 6am and then it was out of my system. We made it through the day without any casualties.

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I had every intention of running 8miles this morning. The weather is perfect, I don’t work until noon. I need some decompressing time. But the move yesterday made me realize that I am not in shape- like, at all. Jesus, Mary, and Joseph; I hurt today. So I’m still debating run today, or rest today and run tomorrow. I have approximately 10 minutes to make this decision.

 

 You may be wondering what it’s like to be a 25 year old girl living with her parents, and her boyfriend, and their dog. As of right now I can sum it up as; awkward. No one really knows what to do. My parents don’t seem so sure of where the line is, even though they are miles from crossing it, they are treading lightly. Pat isn’t so sure what to do or how to do it. This morning he stayed in the bedroom putzing around until I went downstairs. He needed someone to show him the way. The dog is confused; but happy. And me- well…

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Everyone just needs to figure each other out. It’ll all be fine.

We’ve also decided that to help us through this challenging time, we will only be referring to my parents as our roomies.

Happy May 1st!

We seem to have gone straight from winter to summer in the past week. Mother Nature must not be feeling spring this year. I’m okay with it.

Now that it’s May;  a very important date is coming up. May 26th.
1. The new season of Arrested Development
2. Buffalo Half Marathon

 What’s coming up this month for you?

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Moving Time

Three years in this apartment. Black out curtains. Regular curtains. Late nights and early mornings. Career changes. College graduations. Fights. Laughter. Parties and crying.

We moved in here after 8 months of dating. This was our first home. We decorated, and danced while cooking. We’ve played many board games and have built many lego mansions. Our small little apartment has transformed into a dance hall, a dragon den, a home gym, and a movie theater. We’ve sat on our couches gossiping, learning about loved ones passing, and remembering why we love each other.

We became a family in this home.

Now it’s time to move onto our next big adventure. It will take baby steps to get there, and it’s terrifying and exciting, all once- but we’re ready.

Goodbye apartment 13. It’s been fun.

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